I hadn't realized how long it's been since I posted something here. There's a lot of catching up to do.
Leroy Frances O'Dell
1925 - 2022
February 4, 2002 - Leroy Frances O'Dell passed away. Yes, the middle name is the female form of the name; it's what's on his birth certificate and it's what he used his entire life so, while it may have been a mistake at the time, it stands as his middle name. He was buried in a delayed graveside, military ceremony, at the Walton Cemetery, Delaware Co., NY., May 7, 2022. I do not recommend delayed funerals, however, it is not always avoidable.
If you've had a dispute over some family item as I have had, I have some suggestions:
There is a large framed photograph of my maternal great grandparents somewhere in California where they never lived. Fortunately, I have a much smaller copy or similar photograph of them, but I still feel it was wrong to take the larger, framed photograph to California in the first place.
Family disputes over "heirlooms" can be quite unpleasant.
This can be handled, in part, if parents give things, in advance of their death, to their children, or indicate, in their wills, who gets what.
Parents can also ask their children, in advance, who wants what. Whether it's a piece of furniture, decor, photograph, document, or something else, it can mean a great deal to another family member.
Sometimes, and traditionally, most of the estate is assumed to go to the eldest child, but that's not always the case. The executor of the estate may have their own ideas about how the estate is divided, particularly if there is little in the will to so indicate.
In the case of a single item that may be desirable to more than one person, it might be a good idea to dispose of it, one way or another, before the dispute tears the family apart. If desirable items are given to specific individuals, it should be said, to everyone, that those decisions are the choice of the current owner and accepted. It would be a good idea to give or will something desirable (not necessarily valuable) to each child.
My maternal grandmother had a bow-shaped pin with a pendant watch, as I remember, and a red stone. I don't believe it had any inherent value; I don't believe the pin was gold or the stone was anything other than colored glass (I don't really know), but there were definitely several people who were interested in that pin. Grandma had it buried with her. (Of course, then, you have to wonder about the people who had the last possession of the body.) I'm sorry, I'm a realist.
Another thing that can be done to, possibly, alleviate some of the disputes, in the case of photographs, is to reproduce them. Certainly, an older, framed studio portrait, is not quite as easily reproduced, but it can be professionally copied so that many family members can have a copy. Remember our family members are not just OUR family member but are related to quite a few other family members.
Finally, particularly in the case of family heirlooms and artifacts but also, in the case of large, framed photographs, which may have some intrinsic or historic value, they can be donated to local historical societies where there is a potential of being available for viewing by everyone. While small local historical societies run mostly by the efforts of volunteers and have almost no funding and, therefore, little security from, theft, fire, flood, etc., they are still a place that can make family heirlooms available to be seen by many people, rather than just one or a handful of family members.
I would still like to see that framed photographic portrait of my great grandparents back here, on this coast, and somewhere where most of the family can see it from time to time.
May Anniversaries in my WikiTree research list (not all family members):
