New Rules

After long time and recent events, I am making new rules for my family history communications:

If you want family history information from me, you have to first give me some as a sign that you understand this rule of reciprocity.  Namely, you must provide me with a sketch of your family tree as it might connect us, as the outline below indicates:

Your name

Your father's or mother's name or both

Your paternal or maternal grandparent's name or names as they relate

Your maternal or paternal great grandparent's name or names as they relate

etc. as much as you can, simply, but, certainly, if you have it, include dates and places of births, marriages, deaths that will make it possible for me to understand how we might be related.

Then, make whatever request you have and be AS SPECIFIC as possible.

I have been researching ALL my family lines for over 40 years.  I have a database with over 3,500 names in it.  It's work I enjoy.  I am well aware that every person in my database is also related to many other people and all those people have AS MUCH RIGHT as I have to whatever information I have collected.

HOWEVER, so have I.  I have as much right to whatever information you have about my relatives and ancestors as you have.

I'm more than happy to share the information and even copies of photographs and documents (that I have paid for) with others who are also related.  HOWEVER, I can't tell you how many times I have supplied information to people, many not even related, and not got a single piece of information in return.

I can tell you that I'm more than tired of it.  It's just rude as well as being ABSOLUTELY selfish and thoughtless.

Just to go back a bit to the above parenthesis (that I have paid for)  Apparently, some people don't think about this information they think the "have a right to".  It's not all just sitting out there free for the taking.  I spend hours searching for information.  "Official" documents, cost money.  Just as an example, a birth, death or marriage document, in the state of New York, costs a suggested $22, for a simple search.  You can sometimes get a "genealogy" copy for less from some municipal clerks; it varies.  Yes, it's a ridiculous $ amount but it is what it is and I've already paid it so why should I GIVE you a free copy?  If you request a record search at a historical society, etc., you can expect to pay more because they have less resources and the search for the document is usually more challenging.  In any case, this apparent ignorance about the real costs of all this information, is, for me, now, just an excuse for absolute thoughtless selfishness.  Everything costs something.

I am not the only researcher who complains of this infantile, thoughtless behavior.  I belong to a number of online groups who share information online and this is a frequent complaint.  I, for one, will do what I can to stop being the pushover for this kind of selfishness.

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING FROM ME - GIVE ME SOMETHING FIRST.

I'm not unreasonable.  In fact, I've been more than generous with my time and resources in helping others in this area.  

NO MORE

My time is valuable and so is all the work I've done to collect all this information, organize it, house it, digitize it, etc.

I will also, from now on, charge for photos and copies of documents, just for the, obviously, ignored costs of photocopying, ink, paper, postage, etc., as well as, again, my valuable time.

So, I no longer care who you are, if you want something from me, in this area, be prepared to "pay" in advance with information or like material like photos, etc.

I know some people think they "have a right".  Really?!  Not with me, not anymore.

I apologize for the tone of this post but I'm tired of being taken advantage of and frustrated knowing that there is information out there about ancestors that I'm missing and I keep giving information to people and getting nothing back from many.

Reciprocity can never be 100% but giving something, before asking for something, demonstrates a recognizing that what you're asking for has value and that you are willing to SHARE, which is not a one directional action.

Those reading this who are already actually sharing information, photos, etc. with me can ignore this.  I do have relatives who regularly share photos, information, etc. with me and I very much appreciate that they do that.  So I will now recognize a few people who have done just that, many of them have passed:

Michele Natoli

Delilah Wormuth Babcock

Cora Seeley Vandermark

Georgiana Swartwout Bodiot

Ida Mattice O'Dell

Robert W. Blackman

Ellie Bowker

Sally Beams

Judie Darbee Vinciguerra Smith

There have been many others whose names I have undoubtedly forgotten, but these few I remember having given me a great deal in time, information and photographs.  And, I really, really appreciate it.

I hope there will be many future exchanges.

News and Tidbits

News

I'm still working on my application to join the DAR.  It's necessary to have a complete and accurate documented chain from myself to my ancestor who served during the American Revolution.  I have one more link to verify and document.  I'm waiting for responses to record requests sent to several different sources.

NOTE:  I hear that the New York State Vital Records Division in Albany is no longer filling requests for records for genealogical purposes.  Apparently, they've been overwhelmed with record requests and are now limiting their work to filling requests for records for legal purposes.

I'm still waiting for 3 out of 4 record requests sent to New York State Vital Records Division in March 2018.  I think I should ask for a refund at this point.

Every day, checking my mailbox is an adventure:  Will I get a record I've requested or still have longer to wait?

Tidbits:  Little pieces of information about individuals in one or more of my families that may be of interest to somebody.  Sometimes, these little facts add up to a complete picture and life story of somebody.

Beismser family:  (as of this date, my understanding is that there are 52 variant spellings of this surname)  Beismer is the spelling my immediate family used.

17 Oct. 1907 - Carrie Mae Beesimer and Seth A. Davidson were married.  Carrie was 28 at the time.

Carrie Beesimer was daughter of Jeremiah Beesimer and Sarah E. Van Wagoner.

Jeremiah Beesimer was son of Cornelius Osterhoudt Beesimer and Maria Catherine Vandemark and brother of Silas Beismer, my great grandfather; father of my maternal grandfather, Simeon A. Beismer.

As you can see, even between siblings, surname spelling differed.  I recently read an article about just that; that accuracy in spelling was not given much attention historically.  In addition, education was not considered as important as it is now.  I, for one, am very happy for the progress.

Oliver Family:

Transcript of funeral notice in the Oneonta Star. June 1952:

"OLIVER -- Wesley K.[King] -- In Delhi, June 18, 1952. Aged 67 years.  Relatives and friends are respectfully invited to attend funeral services Saturday, June 21, 1952, at 2 p.m. from the Hall Funeral Home, Delhi,.  Interment in Delhi Cemetery.  Friends may call at funeral home Until service time."

Wesley K. Oliver was son of George H. Oliver and Charity Louise Oliver, known as Louise.  George Oliver was son of Darius Oliver and Hannah Odell, who were both my great great great grandparents and great great great uncle and aunt (complicated but has probably been explained here previously).  Interestingly, my great great grandfather, Joseph K. Odell's middle name was also King.  I don't know where that name comes from.  Naming patterns within families often remain mysterious.  Middle names are often the maiden name of the mother or the surname of some other relative.  My father's given name is Leroy (not LeRoy) and means the king in French (both versions).  So, King seems to have been popular in my father's family.  I have not found the King surname in the family, so far.

That's it for now.

Newer News

Yahoo Groups

Yahoo Groups are going away or changing in such a way that I no longer feel they will be useful.  Much of the data is already gone, file, photos, etc.  It's already impossible to post messages there.

It might be better to migrate to a Facebook group and I'll think about reforming all the Yahoo groups I formed for family history of various specific families there.

In any case, I just downloaded all the member lists of my Yahoo family history groups and will, as I have time, move the email addresses of those members into my email address book.  Many of you are already in there.

Just in case, especially if you recently requested to join one of those groups, my family history email address is:  familytracker@yahoo.com.

New Resources

I just discovered, today, a bunch of cemetery and headstone web sites that, when I have the time, I will add to the Links page.  But here's some of what I found:

The first is the New York Gravestone Photo Project which aims to collect photographs of headstones all over New York State.  It nicely indexes the photographs by county and surname.  I hope to contribute to the site as I take cemetery photos.

Next is the New York Cemetery Project that is looking for volunteers although I don't know when that request was posted to their web site.  It is similar to the Gravestone Photo Project but also includes obits, etc.  You'll see that volunteer photographer are needed for many of the counties.

That's it for this time.  I hope you're all well.